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People & Places

  • Best One-Stop Shop for Pornography

    Lexus Video/Pleasure Video/No Name/Wild Wild West

    Stop dumping on Rudy; filth lives and I can prove it! No, I'm not talking about that place in the corner of my closet, under the old blankets. . . . Well, I guess I am, but an even greater collection of celluloid slut and perverse penis play can be found 24-7 filling the shelves of Brooklyn's new "42nd Street"—the… More >>
  • Best One-Stop Shop for Gay Fantasy (and Reality, Too)

    Badlands Video

    Located across from the West Side piers, Badlands Video picks up a lot of customers. Every sexual predilection under the queer umbrella (even some hetero) is appeased with its own wall of video titles, from a staggering array of transsexual features to the upscale Falcon titles (child, priced the highest and smartly locked up in glass cases). Conducting a short… More >>
  • Best Store to Purchase Your First Vibrator

    Toys in Babeland

    With over 50 different kinds to choose from, Toys in Babeland is your one-stop shop for making this very important purchase, which is guaranteed to change your life forever. Do you want the power of a plug-in or the more gentle battery-operated? Do you prefer soft jelly material, hard plastic, or top-of-the-line silicone? Discreet pastels or wild leopard prints? And,… More >>
  • Best Place to Purchase a Penis Pump from a Knowledgeable Salesperson

    The Leather Man

    Widely known as the best place for leatherfolk to buy a whip, a pair of leather chaps, and all kinds of menacing devices, The Leather Man, a cramped West Village institution, has plenty of nonleather goodies downstairs, including an entire glass case of penis pumps. And you're not wandering into some peep show to buy one—the clerks here really know… More >>
  • Best Leather Shop

    Leather Rose

    The two proprietors at Leather Rose have done plenty of flashy celebrity outfitting, like what appears to be a gold leather catsuit for Marilyn Manson (a picture hangs on the wall toward the back). Their custom work is amazing (there's a huge photo album of examples), tempting you to fuck it all and spend two paychecks on leather pants made… More >>
  • Best Store to Buy Cheap Fuck-Me Pumps

    Joyce Leslie

    If you're looking to buy a pair of shoes with outrageously high heels, faux animal prints, glitter, clear plastic, or lots of straps, 8th Street is always a sure bet. But one of my best-kept secrets on that block lined with platforms and go-go boots is the oh-so-cheesy Joyce Leslie. Downstairs, you'll find slutty stripper shoes at very reasonable prices,… More >>
  • Best Guy to Pierce Your Clitoral Hood

    Keith Alexander

    Long before teenie boppers were getting their tongues pierced at the mall and navel rings were all the rage on the fashion runway, Keith Alexander was piercing perverts and urban aboriginals. He's the one man that my girlfriend and I trusted to pierce our clitoral hoods on our anniversary. Why? Because he's not just gentle, safe, and clean—he truly appreciates… More >>
  • Best Dungeon For a Session With a Professional Dominatrix

    L'Oeil Caché

    Classy and top-notch, the private dungeon L'Oeil Caché has some of the hottest dominatrices in New York, often hosts visiting doms from other cities, and is very couples- and women-friendly. The decadent, detailed, divine decor will blow you away. Well-equipped, the particulars will make all your dreams come true, from bondage bed to suspension sling to metal cage. Owner and… More >>
  • Best S/M Workshops

    Lesbian Sex Mafia

    After years of being very underground (for obvious reasons), the Lesbian Sex Mafia has now opened the educational portion of its monthly meetings to all interested women (the third Friday of every month at 8:45 p.m.). Recent workshops and topics have included flogging, genitorture, play piercing, mummification, psychological s/m play, and "The Mommy Dynamic." It's a great place to learn… More >>
  • Best Meeting To Find a Slave Or a Mistress

    The Eulenspiegel Society

    Where does one go these days to find the perfect submissive to push around or an exacting dominant to take control? Well, I, for one, wouldn't trust those nuts in the AOL chat rooms, and recommend you go to a meeting at The Eulenspiegel Society. There you'll find people into s/m—just everyday folks with a passion for kink. Between general… More >>
  • Best Place to Get Tied in Japanese Rope Bondage by a Hispanic Vampire

    La Nouvelle Justine

    According to legend, he just picked up a piece of rope one day and began tying. Several months later, he's known as the best Japanese rope master around, touring local s/m joints and enticing salivating young slave prodigies. But John's main studio is La Nouvelle Justine, where the dimly lit room is small enough to pass for a dungeon. On… More >>
  • Best Bar to Order Baby Food From a Dominatrix While in a High Chair

    La Maison de Sade

    Smile and say Gerber's. You can request the nightly mistress to strap you in, whip in one hand, and feed you slowly. But be warned: It may get a bit messy. At La Maison de Sade, you can swap dinner and a movie for crushed carrots and a taste of latex. The center of this Chelsea bar houses a cage… More >>
  • Best Peep Show

    Show World

    OK, how many other areas outside your shitty apartment are still designated for self-love? Rocks-off New York is going bottoms-up, but Show World still stands erect. Boasting two stories plus a basement, it's a labyrinth of reasonably priced peep booths and the largest adult venue in the city. With live shows way cheaper than most nudie bars, you're guaranteed to… More >>
  • Best Sleazy Back Room

    The Cock

    It's like an adult haunted house: You enter a pitch-black room and hands start grabbing at you in an attempt to scare you. Except that if you're a regular at the Cock, you're usually welcoming groping. A friend told me that every time he goes here, he feels like a 50-cent whore—but still, it doesn't stop him from going back… More >>
  • Best Public Place for Masturbation

    Metropolitan Museum of Art

    The arousal begins in the Metropolitan Museum of Art's Great Hall, erected with such robust buttresses and ample arches in 1870. Then, enter the accepting folds of the galleries, one inside of the next inside of the next, to explore your way through 5000 years of art—the mysteries of the Temple of Dendur, a genteel reverie in the Renaissance beds,… More >>
  • Best Bathroom to Have a Quickie

    The Phoenix

    My girlfriend really likes—OK, she's completely obsessed with—having sex in public restrooms. The sleazier and nastier, the better. But there are practical considerations as well. You want it to have that sleazy feeling but not be as filthy as, say, the bathrooms at CBGB. You want the option of privacy in a stall or space enough to get things done.… More >>
  • Best Place to Go For a Two-Hour Fuck or Any Other Activity that Requires Privacy in 120 Minutes or Less

    St. Marks Hotel

    You and your mate are having too good of a time down on the Lower East Side, and you're reaching a level of intimacy too embarrassing or too illegal to continue while in the streets. Head over to the St. Marks Hotel: For $40, you get a private room that you can rent for two hours at a time, a… More >>
  • Best Unlikely Pimping Zone

    New York Sports Club

    Dating in this city can be as much of a romp as performing ritual hara-kiri. So a thousand amens for New York Sports Club, whose 70-plus locations ratchet up the odds of exchanging googly eyes with a stranger while undrunk (hopefully) and looking, as in my case, like you fell off the ugly tree and hit every branch going down… More >>
  • Best Place For Male Watching

    the subway

    The international nature of NYC is best reflected in its men. Their skin tones can range from salmon pink to deep chocolate, and their body types from the classic "Y" shape (the Buffed) to the bulky, but not fat, contours among the species construction workus. But please, don't overlook the sensuous areas like the mouth, eyes, or . . .… More >>
  • Best Place to Pick Up a Sugar Daddy

    Au Bar

    Why else would you step foot in Au Bar? There's Upper East I-bankers, B&T Euro-greasers, and plenty of well-heeled foreign businessmen with money to lay down for your $12 cosmos. If you are willing to cough up the $20 cover, the rest is on them. The rococo decor and Abba-meets-Elvis Crespo DJs lend themselves to a night of sleazy decadence.… More >>
  • Best Club to Score With a Young, Hot Dyke

    Gloss

    These days, even I feel a little old when I hang at the coolest dyke bar in the city, Meow Mix. But that doesn't mean I don't appreciate all the fresh, barely legal eye-candy. I've found that Thursday nights at Meow Mix, at a party called Gloss, has an especially high gorgeous-girl quotient. Plenty of dolled-up femmes, boydykes, and androgynous… More >>
  • Best Bar to Pick Up a Drag King

    The Murray & Penny Show

    Murray Hill, one of the most unique, entertaining, and brilliant drag kings in the world, and his faithful sidekick, the bubbly, blond knockout Penny Tuesdae, take over the tiny, posh Slipper Room every Tuesday night at The Murray & Penny Show. With lounge acts, duets of vaudevillian proportions, and wacky special guests, there are always plenty of girls dressed as… More >>
  • Best Lesbian Bar for Amateur Go-Go Dancers to Practice

    Ginger's Bar

    Ginger's Bar, a Park Slope dyke hangout, has quickly eclipsed the Rising Café as the place to be for Brooklyn lesbians and the women who love them. When things heat up, some local gals have been known to scale the bar and begin stripping and shimmying for the sheer thrill of it. The bartenders don't seem to mind, and the… More >>
  • Best Friday-Night Moviegoing Meat Market

    Anthology Film Archives

    As a meet-cute backdrop, the Anthology Film Archives has a certain locker-room charm—the musty smell, the linoleum floors, the deserted-pep-rally vibe of the main theater, with its rump-averse bucket seats. But those seats are welded together, so where else do the maneuverings of fellow grumpy bottoms so directly affect your cinema studies? More to the point, Anthology's gratifyingly diverse, esoteric… More >>
  • Best Delivery Boys You Want to Shtup After Work

    Mama's Food Shop - CLOSED

    Prudence felt the first throbs of lust blaze into an inferno as she minced toward the elevator in her illegitimate sister's borrowed stilettos, bosoms heaving in ecstasy. "Oh happy day," she cried, for it was lunchtime and she was hungry for the Mama's Food Shop boy delivering her meatloaf. The elevator doors parted and the emancipator of her libido approached.… More >>
  • Best Spots to Get Over Being Dumped

    F Train/Bouche Bar/Central Park

    You're fretting your libido might atrophy from a grievous lack of play, so exile Dumpsville and give these places a try. The F Train entices "cute girls I wouldn't throw out of bed for eating crackers," says my friend Chris. The lads are also smoking, but eyeball their Times more than you. This line crosses Manhattan, Queens, and Brooklyn, so… More >>
  • Best Dating Agency

    Drip Cafe

    You throw the unfit match back to the sea and are now determined to find the perfect one. Printing up signs that you post around the neighborhood has never been an option. A dating agency is one. Drip Cafe, opened in 1996, is, if you believe its reputation, the 411 of the dating service. But don't panic; you won't have… More >>
  • Best Places to End a Date As Quickly as You Can

    Angelika Film Center and Café/Nha Trang

    Roger Lodge, host of Blind Date, so silkily ridicules the show's tortured love matches that you forgive his electric beach sheen when he trots out infractions committed between go-carting and baking bread. Watch the show and learn to abbreviate any date. Here are my devices. Angelika Film Center and Café (18 West Houston Street, 212-995-2000) is transparently hoity-toity, which can… More >>
  • Best Sex Therapist

    Dr. Betty Dodson, Ph.D

    Once in your lifetime, you should have a private one-on-one session with Dr. Betty Dodson, Ph.D., the author of Self Loving and Sex for One. The masturbation goddess celebrated her 70th year on the planet, yet she does not look a day over 50. (And, no, folks, she has not had any plastic surgery.) The only explanation I know for… More >>
  • Best Place For a Cheap But Impressive Date

    Great Hall Balcony Bar

    OK, $10 is the Met's suggested admission price. So leave the power of suggestion to the tourists, fork over your $2, and lead your date up to the Great Hall Balcony Bar. Grab a cozy table, order some drinks ($3-$8 each), delve into the gratis (but delicious) crunchy munchies and let the chamber ensemble soothe you into museum tempo. Thus… More >>
  • Best Five-Dollar-Per-Person Date

    Harold nights at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theater

    Thursday nights are Harold nights at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theater—two teams of the comedy troupe's apprentices doing half-hour group improvisations on random topics, based on a set of rules invented by Second City's Del Close. The Harold is usually hilarious; it's cheap, it's intimate, and by its nature it'll give you some shared in-jokes for later. And the first… More >>
  • Best Lover's Lane

    Brooklyn Heights Promenade

    Birds do it, bees do it, even creatures of the sea do it, and so do New Yorkers—courting that is. So what better place to catch lovebirds in the act than the Brooklyn Heights Promenade. Day and night, lovers can be seen holding hands, kissing, fondling, or just getting downright freaky. Forget about Pont des Arts in Paris, the promenade… More >>
  • The Best Place to Tell Someone You Love Them

    The Cloisters at Fort Tryon Park

    Seemingly a world away from the farrago that is New York's busy streets, The Cloisters at Fort Tryon Park proves that New York City is a city of disparity. Completed in 1935 by Frederick Law Olmstead Jr., the park offers a romantic view of the Palisades across the Hudson River and the George Washington Bridge to the south. Meandrous stone… More >>
  • Grace Bastidas’s New York Obsession

    When I was a little girl growing up in Elmhurst, Queens, the view from my bedroom window was that of a fire escape and bricks and mortar. There, a big imagination was mandatory. During that time I heard the fable of the Pied Piper, who with a magic pipe rid an entire town of "great rats, small rats, lean rats,… More >>
  • Adamma Ince's New York Obsession

    There are close to 8 million stories in New York City, all yearning to be told. Many have the opportunity to express their voices in this mecca of artistic endeavors, others only the chance to hear them. I belong to the latter, since I have never created a thing that any true art lover would give a shit about. Instead,… More >>
  • Chisun Lee's New York Obsession

    I know nothing of rock climbing or rapids shooting or cow tipping. I detest critters, dampness, and dirt. To a colleague who wonders about my aversion to "real" camping—tent, sleeping bag, and nothing else—I have put it simply: I will never crap in a hole in the ground. I am a city mouse,… More >>
  • Coco McPherson's New York Obsession

    Until recently, the meat market was my secret dreamworld, a place most alive in the middle of the night, surreal for its rows of hanging animal carcasses and the white-coated men—with names like One-Eye (blinded by bleach after he bugged a waitress once too often), Dog Eddie, and Rabbit—who attended them, and the prostitutes who fought on the cobblestoned streets… More >>
  • Michael Musto's New York Obsession

    That elaborately sandy epic Lawrence of Arabia won seven Oscars, but kindly get it away from me. That burn-victim bonanza The English Patient was similarly showered with honors, but I'd rather have my legs waxed than ever have to sit through even the opening credits again. Quality filmmaking simply isn't for me—not when I can enjoy a good, old, rotten… More >>
  • Toni Schlesinger's New York Obsession

    The greatness of the Akeley Hall of African Mammals (1936) always brings to mind Louis Jourdan. I'll tell you why in a minute. But first, look—the giant eland has been staring at the same tree for 64 years! The okapi has been chewing on the same leaf! And that gorilla has been off in the same daydream, sitting on his… More >>
  • Lynn Yaeger's New York Obsession

    Let other people spend their off-hours developing their backhands or learning Urdu—my idea of a good time is chasing down, haggling over, and occasionally purchasing faded art deco carpets, wormy armoires, buggy copies of vintage magazines with names like The Modern Priscilla, 18th-century rings woven from the hair of dead people, shredded flapper coats, chipped Clarisse Cliff teacups, and various… More >>
  • Best Place to Buy a Rubber Corset

    Firepussy Fetish

    Designer Genevieve Gaelyn of Firepussy Fetish creates the most unique fetish clothing I've ever seen—it's made from recycled bicycle inner tubes sewn together. The results are corsets, bras, codpieces, and motorcycle pants that look like leather but shine like rubber. I just love fashion that's fierce and environmentally conscious. These duds have become so hot that Gaelyn recently made custom… More >>
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