HIRE AN ACCOUNTANT FOR YOUR TAXES, FOR CRISSAKES. A real accountant, not one of those last-second H&R Block yutzes. The state and city taxes here are hungry for flesh; fortunately, so are the CPAs. Yes, putting together all your receipts is tedious, and schlepping them over to a fat guy in a tie who grills you about where all your money goes means paying $300 or $400 for an experience disturbingly close to dinner with your parents, but then Uncle Sam and Aunt Liberty will have a special present for you that more than makes up for it. Remember: It\'s not bourgeois if it means you have more money for giant anarchist puppets.