In the immortal words of Van Halen: "I think of all the education that I missed/But then my homework was never quite like this/Got it bad, got it bad, got it bad/I'm hot for teacher." Those lyrics should spring ineluctably to the mind of any student who contemplates taking the Burlesque Master Class (or should that be Mistress Class?) with Jo Boobs. Professor Boobs, who also answers to the name Jo Weldon, has been stripping for nearly 30 years—a statistic her firm and curvy anatomy belies. Voted "Best Burlesque Teacher and Mentor" (as well as "Best Bump N Grinder") at the New York Burlesque Festival, Boobs offers "hands-on training" and leads her students in a critique of burlesque in film and fiction. She bills her work as a "means to introduce women who are shy about their bodies to enjoy the power of playful and/or confrontational exhibitionism, as well as creativity and self-expression through self-initiated theatrical performance." What we wouldn't give to see her, er, syllabus.