We know what you're thinking, sicko: This Dr. Dan guy must dole out the happy pills like jelly beans, right? Well, no. Clearly, he believes in pills—that's his job—but we never get that creepy "wouldn't you like to be even happier?" feeling from him either. Daniel Cohen will give it to you straight: why the generic version of one drug sucks, or why Klonopin is awesome (so awesome!). He will even give you his cell-phone number and call in a prescription on Memorial Day weekend when you break up with your boyfriend. But the best thing about him might be that he will laugh at your jokes. Seriously, just like a date or a potential boss, when a pharmacologist or therapist has no sense of humor, it's hard to feel like they "get" you. And they should get you, if they're going to supply you—and your friends—with narcotics, right?