An Old Celebrity Is Stalking Me!

Many mornings, I'll leave my house only to find an old codger, clearly well into his 90s, harassing me, but in the most delightful way possible. In a coat, a cap, and some wayward facial hair, the man will invariably be pushing some kind of cart with a few New York Posts thrown on them, aggressively urging me to buy one.

Does the cute geezer work for the Post or is he just a bit, let's say, daft? Um, no, and no comment, but whatever the case, I generally am extremely eager to splurge for the quarter and give him some business, mainly because he turns out to be Professor Irwin Corey! You know, the famous comic who--billed as "the world's foremost authority"--was all over the TV for decades giving meandering monologues that parodied the hot-air pontifications of real experts while often sounding more cogent than they ever could. He's a genius! I would buy anything from this man--even the Brooklyn Bridge--for a quarter!

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