Best Kiddie Pageant Queen Ever!
But Alana, aged six, is the cutest, realest, funniest, most outrageous entrant since Little Miss Sunshine, and she's made me believe again.
Among her priceless utterances:
"I'm a superstar because I do pageants."
"My special juice is gonna help me win!"
"My momma nickname is Coupon Queen."
"Beauty is so boring. I don't wanna do it!"
"I want to win money! A dollar makes me holler, honey boo boo."
Best of all, she rolls her flabby stomach around and says, "This is what I show to the judges!"
And they'd better vote for this honey-boo-boo child because she's a winner, baby.
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you’ll never miss Village Voice's biggest stories.