Chuck Norris' Personal Code Of Honor! How Many Of These 10 Rules Does He Pay Attention To?
He's a conservative who touts family values and is against gays in the Boy Scouts, to name just one place where they might turn up.
But there's a method to his madness.
Here is the former film star's conduct code--from his martial art Chun Kuk Do--which is so inspiring I might have to start breaking planks of wood with my hands.
1. I will develop myself to the maximum of my potential in all ways.
And this process will start when exactly?
2. I will forget the mistakes of the past and press on to greater achievements.
OK, great. Let's forget your Boy Scouts remarks.
3. I will continually work at developing love, happiness, and loyalty in my family.
Terrific. After all, your daughter is the result of an extramarital affair.
4. I will look for the good in all people and make them feel worthwhile.
Even gays? I mean, we're included in "all people," no?
5. If I have nothing good to say about a person, I will say nothing.
Even gays??? I mean, a gay sort of counts as "a person," right?
6. I will always be enthusiastic about the success of others as I am about my own.
Then say something nice about Wanda Sykes!
7. I will maintain an attitude of open-mindedness.
Puhleease, Missy. Now you're really stretching my spandex!
8. I will maintain respect for those in authority and demonstrate this respect at all times.
Then why don't you demonstrate respect for our President by saying, "I'm in favor of same-sex marriage too"?
9. I will always remain loyal to my God, my country, my family, and my friends.
Make sure, OK? Because there was that extramarital thing.
10. I will remain highly goal-oriented throughout my life because that positive attitude helps my family, my country, and myself.
To which I say: Your attitude isn't positive any more than it's helping our country!
But best of luck to you, Chuck. Don't hurt me.
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you’ll never miss Village Voice's biggest stories.