Dirty Diary of the Black Party!
The Saint At Large's Black Party at Roseland is that hedonistic freefall of a circuit party, where if you don't engage in all kinds of reckless and enjoyable things, they take away your gay card. Well, here's an anonymous (as it were) reader's first-person account of the deliciously debauched goings on there on Saturday:
2am. Arrived, already buzzed off of tequila, and having popped a pill of E (hey, I'm not going there without some sort of social lubrication), only to discover that I was the only one without leather cuffs, chest harness, and/or chaps. I was, however, wearing tight black dress pants and a black tie, which seemed to draw some attention in itself. My friend and I danced for a little while near the main platform (where the "kinkiest" and "biggest dick" guys from the Hookie awards were putting on a show), only to sprint out of the way when the big black kinky man started PEEING off of the platform into the audience. I almost threw up.
5:30am. I meet a hot mess who stops having sex with his boyfriend in the hallway (while him and I are making out) to discreetly slap a condom on me and bend right over like he was picking up loose change. This ends up drawing a crowd of around eight 20-something and surprisingly good-looking guys and we all ended up in a bukkake situation with the guy's boyfriend being on the ground in the middle.
6:30am. I arrive home.
10:00am. I can't sleep, and instead of lying there all cracked out watching reruns of Will & Grace, I decide to get right back up and head over for Junior Vasquez's set and see how the party had changed in the last few hours.
10:30am. I arrive and notice that there are a few hundred less people there, but the ones left are pretty much all having sex. Slings, masks, the works. I'm watching the crowd from the balcony only to discover a beautiful boy with a big tattoo across his chest checking me out. We end up making out & wandering over to the corner, where a solid 200 guys are all hooking up & banging each other like bunnies (it's literally like the ads showed) and I proceed to get blown by no fewer than 10-15 guys before meeting a doctor who drags me to the bathroom because he "wants to sit on me." We stay in the corner stall for a solid half hour before heading back up, where I got off with a hot bodybuilder in the dungeon of sweaty strangers. I've never in my life (or in any porn) seen that many guys hooking up before. The place was LITTERED with enough condom wrappers and lube packets to wallpaper Yankees Stadium.
1:00pm. I leave Roseland feeling like a whore, but oddly satisfied. I had to take a 2-hour shower to feel clean again, but all in all it was worth it. Thank God it only happens once a year....
Get the ICYMI: Today's Top Stories Newsletter Our daily newsletter delivers quick clicks to keep you in the know
Catch up on the day's news and stay informed with our daily digest of the most popular news, music, food and arts stories in New York, delivered to your inbox.