Don Knotts, Sex Vixen

Before we get to that, a seemingly unrelated Patrick Swayze anecdote: Even as a little girl, Eye of the Potato had always found Patrick Swayze too fug in the face to contemplate. So why was it that a few weeks back during a viewing of Dirty Dancing—a movie she had seen 8,000 times—something, well, happened?

Watching Swayze dance, watching Swayze perform, watching Swayze swayze...it became electrifying......it even...um..awakened her woman within. Four hours later and Eye was still up reading his IMDB profile. Patrick Swayze met his wife at 15 and believes in the healing power of crystals.

Eye rightfully felt like a pathetic loser for getting Swayzed 19 years too late—until a few days ago when she learned of someone who actually had sexual fantasies about Tina Yothers. Yothered? It made her feel better, like others were out there. And were there more, still?

Email Eye of the Potato at tvblog@villagevoice.com with your most embarrassing TV/movie crush, old or new, in the past or current, and she'll slap them all up here. (And—as important—please explain what was appealing about him/her/Alf.)

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