Doorman Disses Me Big Time!

I love getting attitude from lowly door help because as I'm sucking in the humiliation, it makes me think "At least it'll be a good item."

Case in point: The other night, I went to a splashy theater gala at Cipriani.

I assumed I was wildly famous from all the press I've been nabbing and would get a nice greeting, but one should never assume.

"Yes?" said the doorman, looking suspicious.

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"I'm here for the gala," I announced.

"And...?" he said, with fish eyes.

"I was invited," I said, irked that I had to keep selling myself.

"As what?" he asked, looking me over as if surveying a decaying rodent.

As what??? As a guest, you fucking asshole!!

"As what? As a guest," I responded, really over it but trying not to scream out my exasperation.

What could he have thought I was there as--the janitor? Before finding out, I simply walked into the entrance and assumed my place at the dinner table.

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