Download: Kevin Federline's New Single


Move over Bumpasaurus--meet the Federdactyl

Britney Hub's New Single "PopoZao"--Too Awesome?

Says Federline, y'all ain't ready for this:

in portuguese it means bring ya ass on the floor and move it real fast i wanna see your kitty and a little bit of titty wanna know where I go when i'm in your city girl don't you worry about all the dough cos the cat is coming straight outta the know ready to rock them shows in your are-o (?) bring that brazil booty on the floo'

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I just don't even know where to begin--this may be the best song I've heard this morning. Released yesterday at midnight, "PopoZao" is K-Fed's first single from the forthcoming, heretofore labelless The Truth LP, a possible homage to Beanie Sigel, probably not though. You can stream it off his Myspace page, called "Kevin Federline For Real," and internet kids have already rapidshared the shit out of it, such as this guy.

Now before we lose our shit this afternoon in anticipation of Jay Leno's joke about "PopoZao," which will probably go something like this--

Jay Leno: So has anybody heard that PopoZao song, the new Kevin Federline song? Studio Audience: Yes Jay Leno: Man, what a disaster. I can't tell who got served! Man! Oh! Kevin Eubanks: (something about jazz)

--let's give credit where it's due, not merely where it's exacted. New York transplant and 2005 breakout Disco D, who produced 50's "Ski Mask Way," one of the few good tracks on The Massacre, Nina Sky's "Turnin' Me On," a number of good enough dancehall remixes, has cooked up quite a beat here. Equally in debt to baile funk's hoarse chants (great new baile funk mix here, btw) and Storch-style electro-Eastern flavor (cf. Beyonce's "Naughty Girl," though here more minimal, with a flute line balder than the one Storch threw on Freeway's "Where You Been"), the instrumental has something of an Arular Pt. 2 feel to it, a little bit slicker than M.I.A.'s stuff, less susceptible to critics' heeing and hawing about this is ghetto cosmopolitan nursery rhyme music, etc. etc. For all we know, the tom sounds might be the same exact preset as those used on "Sunshowers," fine by me.

Just saying, good of K-Fed to go club banger on this, big nonsense hook ("PopoZao" means "luscious ass" apparently), no surprise given his dancer background that he wanted something to tack his kicks and arm flails and twirls and head nods to.

As for Federline qua rapper, for club lyrics these aren't too terrible, and his flow's adequate, got Pitbull envy with a Purp more-is-more, say a lot and hope nobody's listening bent. He rejoins "I wanna see your kitty" with "the cat is coming straight outta the know," which might be clever, I really have no idea though, and chances are Federline has no fucking clue what "straight outta the know" means either. He's also taking the Kanye free pass w/r/t dropping the backside of a word to rhyme it with a word with which it's not meant to be paired ("are-o" and "floo'," which is "floor"; "are-o" might be "areola"?), but maybe we're being too hard on K-Fed--maybe this is some sort of revolution of mediocrity on par with Dipset's tautological schemes or rappers better known for their ad-libs than their lyrics.

Either way, if celebrity-obsessed America can get over the fact that their favorite punchline just pulled together a good track that cashes in on a year of underground trends and heros, we might have a hit here. Federline could have Hulk Hogan'd or Macho Man'd this, gone with some ass producer has-been and tried to sing or tackle real issues or talk about how real he is. Instead he set his sights low, low enough that I'm certainly not disappointed here, maybe even a little excited.

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