Fellatio Advice From Damon Wayans

The salty comedian's advice is specifically for women servicing men, but it can be applied to just about anyone who likes noodles, I'm quite sure.

(1) "Make your man think he has the biggest, baddest penis on the planet."

I.e., lie.

(2) "Give your man plenty of head."

If so, "He knows she is performing one of the ultimate acts of love."

(3) "Learn how to give a proper blow job. And get right to the point."

Damon says this means you should avoid kissing the guy's neck and chest beforehand.

"Men don't have titties," he insists. "There's no erogenous zone to be found up there."

4) If you don't like the taste, put honey, chocolate, peanut butter, guacamole, or sprinkles on it, for god's sake.

"If you want to put some popcorn in the crease of his balls," adds Wayans, inspiringly, "he'll let you."

5) "Don't make faces. It's not a sour pop."

Here's where I'm really starting to learn shit.

And he ends with an extra, invaluable bonus:

"Throw in a little choke. Men like that."

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