How You Know You're a Gay Man
"If upon initial approach, people mistake you for Lady Gaga.
"If you think the Super Bowl is a new culinary product line at Williams-Sonoma.
"If the positions 'pitcher' and 'catcher' conjure up something other than your favorite baseball team.
"If you frequently use the words 'hello', 'precious', 'newsflash', 'please', 'horrid', 'whatever', and 'hot mess'.
"If instead of saying the color 'green,' you say 'sea-foam', 'sage', 'cactus', 'emerald', or 'pickle'.
"If you own the entire series DVD set of The Golden Girls and Designing Women, yet continue to watch the reruns on Lifetime."
This was from the very funny new book My Brother Married My Sister. Where Do I Sit by Karl B. Daniel and Bradley J. Provines.
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you'll never miss Village Voice's biggest stories.