I Can't Stand TV!! 43 Reasons Why I'm Tossing My Remote!!
Yes, it was inevitable.
My column about the many reasons why the mere sight of a television set makes me hurl my (couch) potatoes.
Take your eyeballs off that flat-screen for a second and feast on my hilariously truthful rant about why I detest:
*All those channels with not a thing to watch
*Close-ups of people without faces, always shown while I'm eating shredded beef
*Reality shows that either breed criminals or give them a chance at stardom
*Animated shows that never go off the air, no matter how stagnant their plotlines and characterizations become
*News anchors who dress like they're going to play blackjack
*Also, sexism, mixed messages, censorship, botched justice, and chefs with fake accents!
And so much more.
Don't change the channel right now.
Not until you read this important screed!
Get the ICYMI: Today's Top Stories Newsletter Our daily newsletter delivers quick clicks to keep you in the know
Catch up on the day's news and stay informed with our daily digest of the most popular news, music, food and arts stories in New York, delivered to your inbox.