I Can't Stand TV!! 43 Reasons Why I'm Tossing My Remote!!
Yes, it was inevitable.
My column about the many reasons why the mere sight of a television set makes me hurl my (couch) potatoes.
Take your eyeballs off that flat-screen for a second and feast on my hilariously truthful rant about why I detest:
*All those channels with not a thing to watch
*Close-ups of people without faces, always shown while I'm eating shredded beef
*Reality shows that either breed criminals or give them a chance at stardom
*Animated shows that never go off the air, no matter how stagnant their plotlines and characterizations become
*News anchors who dress like they're going to play blackjack
*Also, sexism, mixed messages, censorship, botched justice, and chefs with fake accents!
And so much more.
Don't change the channel right now.
Not until you read this important screed!
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