Let's Write The Inevitable Mamma Mia! Sequel

The Mamma Mia! movie was huge--in fact, it was the biggest moneymaking film in history directed by a woman. (Wouldn't you love to ring Barbara Streisand and alert her to that little fact?)

So let's face it--as sure as there won't be another Duplicity, there WILL be another Mamma Mia!. I mean, the winner not only takes it all, it takes you along with it. But since the plot of the first flick pretty much ran its course, what on earth can the followup possibly be about? I have some festive ideas:

*Meryl's daughter gets to meet three women from around the globe and decide "Which one of you bitches is my aunt?" To a soundtrack of old hits by Adam and the Ants.

*Some angry conservatives force the girl to face three dead fetises and decide, "Which one of you babies was my abortion?" Sinead O'Connor provides the music.

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*After a two-hour shopping montage, the girl has to decide which of three fabulous pairs of shoes she'll take home. Music by Katrina and the Waves ("Walking on Sunshine")

*Or she breaks the fourth wall by looking straight into the lens and saying, "Which one of you three customers actually paid full price?"

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