May The Holidays Bring....

*A toast to Marcus Bachmann: "Bottoms up!"

*Lindsay Lohan living behind bars instead of dancing on top of them.

*Mothers who keep tiaras off their toddlers.

*Comedy Central obtaining rights to broadcast all future Republican debates.

*A new man for Demi Moore who doesn't cheat or tweet.

*The hope that Rebecca Black is just a one-hit wonder.

*President Bill Maher

*An Alexander McQueen skull clutch.

*A new Arnold Schwarzenegger action flick: The Sperminator.

*A Harvey Milkshake for Governor Cuomo.

*A new Twitter handle for Osama bin laden -- @thebottomofthesea.

*A Broadway theater named after Matt Stone and Trey Parker.

And mainly:

*Me no longer cribbing off Carolines Comedy Club holiday cards (which all the above items were borrowed from).

Happy merry!

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