Moi in a Gay Soap Opera?

That could actually happen, seeing as P.J. Brash, who's written for soaps for years and has won an Emmy and several Writers Guild Awards, has concocted a script with me as the central character! I'd play a bitchy gossip columnist who's basically hiding a lot of heart (a real stretch). My character must also be hiding a lot of cash because he happens to double as the owner of a local gay club, which allows for lots of scenes featuring half-clad gogo boys and hunky bartenders.

Throw in a black boyfriend and a gay nephew for me, as well as a best friend slash lesbian comic with a straight son, and a lesbo TV pundit whose girlfriend has a twin sapphic sister, and you've got a script that's funny and dramatically compelling at the same time. Just like a real soap, but even gayer than that old queen from Pine Valley!

So come on, TV world, bite hard on this project. Make me the new Susan Lucci--but give me the Emmy a little sooner, OK?

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