Money Saving Tips For The New Economic Crash
Everyone ran articles like this three years ago, but it's time to dredge them up again with some extra urgency up your ass.
Here's exactly what to do:
*Shop at 99-cent stores. Duh
*Don't buy any new clothes.
Your 10-year-old items are due for a comeback, especially with some really cool applique-ing and bedazzling to make them fashion-fresh.
*If friends are coming into town, tell them you're going to be away.
Otherwise, you're going to do have to do a whole lot of hosting and treating.
*Nibble at those free crumbled muffins some grocery chains put out as samplers.
It's incredibly depressing, but act like you're doing it as a gourmand, not a desperate loser.
*Convert your 401(k) and all other savings to something with a fixed rate.
The rate will be just a tad above the amount you get by keeping it as cash under your pillow, but at least it won't keep swerving downward like a crashing aircraft.
*If you have an air conditioner, throw it out and deal.
*Don't listen to Suze Orman, just to me.
She only seems to know what you should have done after the fact. My tips are relevant all the time.
Trusto the Musto!
Get the ICYMI: Today's Top Stories Newsletter
Catch up on the day's news and stay informed with our daily digest of the most popular news, music, food and arts stories in New York, delivered to your inbox.