Monica Lewinsky's Vaginal Cigar Uncorked!
I never smoke cigars, especially the one Bill Clinton shoved into Monica Lewinsky, but I'm delighted to know that it's finally been identified (if not tested).
According to a press release I just got, "Several inside sources have finally confirmed that Gurkha Cigars was indeed the cigar that was used between Monica Lewinsky and Bill Clinton. In light of the recent announcement about the HBO movie Special Relationship featuring Clinton's personal relationships, Gurkha Cigars is happy to announce that they too are part of oval office history." -Roy MacLaren, Vice President Sales and Marketing.
Wow (cough, cough)! As a result of this toxic revelation--which has me gagging--so many hilarious and insightful thoughts spring to mind:
So when Bill wanted to arouse his gerkhin, he shoved in his Gurkha?
When he still couldn't crank it up, did he say "Close, but no cigar"?
I guess Monica's pussy was really ssssmokin'!
Does she now rent it out as a humidor?
This really redefines that old post-coital cliche, "Cigarette?"
Get the ICYMI: Today's Top Stories Newsletter Our daily newsletter delivers quick clicks to keep you in the know
Catch up on the day's news and stay informed with our daily digest of the most popular news, music, food and arts stories in New York, delivered to your inbox.