My Duane Reade Card Got Me Points!
You know those annoying "club cards" you get at Duane Reade because if you spend $100 there and they tally it on the card, you get five whole bucks towards your next purchase?
Well, after what seemed like years of buying and trying, I finally made it! I reached $100 the other day, mainly thanks to the Snuggies they're selling, which are perfect Christmas gifts for people too lazy to sleep under an actual blanket.
And I actually sensed a rush of achievement when they notified me that I had attained my goal! (As if I didn't know! I'd been counting points like a madman.)
It gave my ego a boost and made me feel like I had actually done something, no matter how trivial and non-talent-dependent.
In fact, my head spun so feverishly from this consumeristic high that I could barely get my ass together to scour the store and see what I could possibly get for five fucking bucks. But I managed. I slapped myself in the face, came down from my high horse, and set about cashing my chips and hunting for gold.
And after hours of searching and perusing, I came up with...a bottle of drain unclogger and a can of sardines! And suddenly I didn't feel so great.
Get the ICYMI: Today's Top Stories Newsletter
Catch up on the day's news and stay informed with our daily digest of the most popular news, music, food and arts stories in New York, delivered to your inbox.