Read My Review of the Decade Again! Please!
Now that we've had three whole days since the aughties ended, we can look back at the decade with a whole new wisdom and perspective.
Which is all the more reason you should CLICK HERE and once again soak in my essay summing up that era's most historic events, from 9-11 to an even bigger horror, reality television.
And if you missed the chance to whack off to my beautiful visage as various music divas from '09, CLICK HERE and take in my saucy slideshow.
The Susan Boyle shot alone will grow hair on your balls.
Get the ICYMI: Today's Top Stories
Catch up on the day's news and stay informed with our daily digest of the most popular news, music, food and arts stories in New York, delivered to your inbox.