Riff Raff Uncovers More Payola Scams

WAIT TILL YOU SEE MY PAYOLA

Robert_Plotnek_&_Mickey_Mouse_in_Birmingham_Children's_Hospital_1999.jpg "I have bad news, kid..."

This morning details emerged of Sony BMG's elaborate radio payola scandal, the media conglo bribing station jocks with roundabout promotional "giveaways" in exchange for increased song appearances in playlists. The Times recounts one such instance:

A Sony BMG executive considered a plan to promote the song "A.D.I.D.A.S." by Killer Mike by sending radio disc jockeys one Adidas sneaker, with the promise of the second one when they had played the song 10 times.

As you know, Riff Raff stops at nothing to bring you the best, most exclusive scoops on music industry fatcats. Since morn the Double R's been scouring through court records in search of major labels' most comical tries at gaining airplay for their flagship singles. Here are some recent cases:

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-Every radio copy of Green Day's "Boulevard of Broken Dreams" single included Billie Joe's driver's license and a set of car keys. After ten spins, DJs would receive a free Daewoo, a copy of Green Day's limited edition single "Boulevard of Awesome Dreams", and a pirate's map that detailed the whereabouts of said boulevard.

-Promotional material for Tony Yayo single "So Seductive" included exclusive shots of Tony Yayo lying on a baby grand piano, wearing nothing but his bucket hat. After playing the record ten times, radio DJs would receive new photos of Yayo, this time hatless, playing the piano, and sobbing uncontrollably.

-Promotion for 50 Cent's "Candy Shop" included nonstop shipments of jelly beans to radio promoters, deliveries continual so long as jocks played the song at the top of every hour. After the song fell off Billboard's Hot 100 and radio promoters' dental hygiene had been severely compromised, Interscope sent them copies of Nine Inch Nail's new record With Teeth as a backhanded thank-you.

-After teasing radio DJs with an edited chorus of Ying Yang Twins single "Wait (The Whisper Song)", TVT execs planned to send stations a wheelbarrow full of bricks, and an explanatory note: "Wait till you see my bricks." The bricks would be penis-shaped.

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