Shirley MacLaine Is Playing A Battle-Axe

Who meets an untimely death as the town rejoices!

And it's based on a real story!

It's too soon for me to review Bernie, the upcoming Richard Linklater film I'm talking about.

But you may have heard it's based on the story of a small-town Texas assistant funeral director (played by Jack Black) who out of frustration offs Marjorie Nugent, the wealthy widow he's become a friend and unwitting slave to (Shirley).

The amazing thing about the real-life Marjorie's murder is that very few people noticed she was gone for months and months.

And if they did happen to notice, they really didn't mind that much since she was the most hated, loathed, and despised nightmare in town.

"The truth was that no one really cared about her because no one missed her," said one resident after the mortician's dust cleared.

And Shirley would no doubt say that Marge was off to a wondrous afterlife anyway!

So is Shirley. She's going to be on Downton Abbey, and suddenly I'm planning to watch quality television again.


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