Some Probing Questions About Last Night's VMAs

Why did Britney stumble on the word "anniversary"? Does it bring up bad memories of K-Fed?

How did she feel as her arch-nemesis Christina Aguilera got up to perform a Britney-type number--very successfully?

Why was Paris Hilton unable to find the Teleprompter? It was straight ahead, as usual, darling!

Anybody want to be her BFF?

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Is it possible the Jonas brothers are just virgins with women?

How can I meet that adorable German drag queen from Tokio Hotel? No, I'm serious. I want to be his BFF.

Does any woman really want to accept an award from Kobe Bryant?

Did anyone seem the least bit surprised or excited to win the award? (And why was every winner there and ready to accept? I guess they'd gotten the memo, huh?)

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