The Village Voice: Status Ain't Hood

Scott Storch is an Idiot

posted: 7:30 PM, February 28, 2007 by Tom Breihan

Be very afraid

Consider, if you will, Jon Boy's MySpace page. A couple of months back, I was in the early stages of my obsession with ego trip's The (White) Rapper Show, and I was pretty amped to discover that all of them had MySpace pages. Those pages all had some fun surprises (Shifty Shellshock in G-Child's top eight, RIP Proof shit all over Misfit's page), but Jon Boy's page was my favorite. On the show, he'd come off as nothing more than a completely quiet and unassuming guy who could sort of rap. On his MySpace page, the main picture showed him hair-gelled and aviatored-up and sitting in front of a bank of keyboards, looking for all the world like a budget-ass Scott Storch. A couple of weeks later, Jon Boy got kicked off the show on the same episode where he started acting like an egotistical chump out of nowhere ("Dance, ladies! Dance!"). So Jon Boy's stint on the show turned out to be a pocket version of Scott Storch's entire career: starting off as a background figure, coasting by on anonymous affability, and suddenly becoming a massively deluded shithead overnight. As a producer, Scott Storch's blandly chilly synth-beats have yielded plenty of hits and even a couple of good songs, but he's always kept the lowest profile that a music-industry creative-type with a garage full of outrageously expensive cars can keep, at least until recently. Now, Storch is just starting to show his plastic-looking face in videos, and this week he's suddenly decided to escalate a long-gestating beef with Timbaland, the most important musician currently working. And he's decided to rap. Just like that, we're about five steps closer to apocalypse.

From what I understand, the issue between Timbaland and Storch started when Storch was denied a producer's credit on Justin Timberlake's "Cry Me a River" even though I guess he did some work on it. I don't really know anything about Timbaland's creative process, but if Storch really had a whole lot to do with "Cry Me a River," then it stands to reason that at least a couple of his own productions would be as rich and dazzling as that one. Needless to say, none of them are, and we'll probably never know just what he did on the song. A few months ago, a new Timbaland single called "Give It To Me" leaked to the internet, and it's typically great: chilly synth-notes over complicated, rippling drums with Nelly Furtado and Justin Timberlake talking shit at anonymous foes and somehow not sounding ridiculous in the process. In between their verses, Timbaland gives a verse of his own, sort-of-rapping in his unmistakable cartoon-robot singsong and taking a few mild shots at another beatmaker: "I get a half a mil for my beats; you get a couple grand," "I'm a real producer and you just a piano man," "Somebody needs to tell them that they can't do it like I can." I like Timbaland's voice, but he's not a rapper and he never has been, and "Give It to Me" isn't exactly an "Ether"; it's just a really good song with a few lighthearted jabs at a rival. Tim used the track to close his epic DJ set on the Justin Timberlake tour, and now there's a remarkably low-budget video for the song making the rounds. On a recent episode of MTV's My Block, Tim announced that he was indeed, as rumored, talking about Scott Storch on the song. None of that stuff seemed like any more than good-natured competitiveness from the guy who's been consistently making pop music a whole lot more interesting over the past decade, but Scotty took it as a declaration of war. And now look where we are.

"Built Like Dat," Scotty's new response track, is also, as far as I know, Storch's inauspicious rapping debut, a grand occasion he marks by rhyming "piano man" with "billion" in his first line. On his verse, Storch makes a few half-decent points about Timbaland: his Beat Club imprint failed completely, his protege Danja supposedly ghost-produced a number of his recent hits, he didn't manage to turn Magoo into a star, his muscles are weirdly big. Storch also makes a crack about "that pack of franks out the back of your neck," which isn't devastating or anything but which is at least a better punchline than "you look like a gorilla with rabbit-teeth." Storch also includes a verse by some guy named Nox, who accuses Tim of taking it up the ass and who sounds like a dollar-bin Freddie Foxxx, if you can even imagine that. But Storch's hammering synth-and-strings beat is just as cold and characterless as everything else he's ever come up with. If that's the best response he can muster to "Give It To Me," a genuinely great song, he needs to abort this little experiment before Tim uses his bass-cannons to melt Scotty's hair-gel.

It's not like I hate Scott Storch. He's had a hand in a few songs that I love without reservation ("Lean Back," Beyonce's "Naughty Girl," the Roots' "Adrenaline," whichever tracks on Dr. Dre's 2001 he ghost-produced). Maybe he didn't produce "Cry Me a River," but he had something to do with it, which makes him partially responsible for one of the great pop masterpieces of this century. He kept his fascination with Eastern scales years after better producers had moved on, and I love that. But Storch is the guy who rappers and singers turn to when they give up on crafting a halfway distinctive sound. Every interview I read where a rapper brags about having a Scott Storch beat tells me that that rapper is on the wrong track. Storch is a pop hack, and the world needs pop hacks, but that doesn't mean those pop hacks have license to attack actual musical geniuses. After all, anyone who signed Brooke Hogan can't very well accuse anyone else of being unable to spot talent.

Comments

according to the interviews i have read and the one i conducted with storch about 2 years ago - he says that the keyboard motif- basically the musical hook of cry me a river is his. that storch is a bit of a jack ass isnt in question(whoisnt in the music industry) but its more than likely that storch deserves the production credit- or partial credit. after all he is a keyboardist so its not some out of the thin air claim and his keyboard work most notably on Still D.R.E is damn fine.

Posted by: ramona at February 28, 2007 8:57 PM

I'll ignore the ridiculous "Timbaland is the most important musician" working line for a second to address the actual topic. (Baby steps, Doc. Baby steps.) I completely agree with your assessment on Scott Storch. Storch has always struck me as a budget ass Dr. Dre clone who somehow channeled his contributions to Dre's post-falling the fuck off years(2000- to the present) into becoming a budget producer du jour for the post-death of hip hop age. Whenever, rappers bragged about getting Storch on the album I almost immediately knew that the song was going to be the worst on the album and the song that the A&R's were gonna shove down my throat and make a corresponding video in which rappers due their best to put on a modern day minstrel show. Witness the recent Make It Rain and Make It Rain Remix videos. I also find him to be off the charts on the unintentional comedy scale whenever he tries to mean mug the camera in these videos with his frosted hair and oversized stunna shades. I'm not sure he quite realizes that despite the fact that he produces for actual African-American rappers that he is still a short, dorky looking Jewish guy from Canada. You look like a tool, son. He somehow miraculously manages to be the most annoying figure in the previously mentioned Make It Rain (Remix) video trumping a heroic performance in douchebaggery by Lil' Wayne in which Lil' Wayne trumped his previous career high in douchebaggery by claiming his ghostwritten ass is actually better than Jay-Z. A career performance by ol' Scotty.

Posted by: DocZeus at February 28, 2007 9:07 PM

our neighbors to the north have it bad enough without having to feel responsible for storch- he's from phillya nd florida- born in one raised off and on in the other

Posted by: ramona at February 28, 2007 10:24 PM

i find all this supposed "ghost-production" Storch has done to be a whole lotta BS. for one thing, dude got co-writing credits on a bunch of 2001 songs and two songs Tim did on Timberlake's first album, so it's not like he's invisible. second, same thing you said -- sure he's had input in those tracks (otherwise he wouldn't get a co-writing credit,) but Dre (who's never claimed to be an instrumentalist, he has studio musicians) and Tim are the dudes who essentially put the ish together. otherwise, why's Storch's solo production have a completely distinct sound?
same goes for Tim/Danja. listen to Danja's solo productions on Diddy's Press Play, they're like less-polished Tim beats.

anyway, i don't think "Give It to Me's" one of Tim's better beats relative to the stuff him and Danja did in '06, but you're dead-on with Storch, although i find the diss kinda amusing. is it a Storch beat though, cuz there's a "Nu Jerzey" adlib at the beginning.

DZ -- i dunno 'bout "most important" but one of the more important producers right now isn't so far off.

Dre's fallen off? really, i'd take his 2001 and G-Unit-affiliated/Game beats over dated Chronic ish anyday, although lately (like '06 lately) he hasn't been sounding so good.

Posted by: T.R.E.Y. at March 1, 2007 2:58 AM

Damn man.. You totally preempted me on this one. Storch is a complete idiot - glad this diss track provided some basis upon which to make that point. Great write-up of the WRS finale party as well. Peace! J.

Posted by: jamie radford at March 1, 2007 9:08 AM

excellent post, Tom. I've never commented on your shit before, but i wrote a similar post called "scott storch is a fucking moron" two days ago and i'm just glad to be in sync with my favorite working writer (ever since i discovered your old dipdipdive thing and alleviated 8 hours of boredom/work)

Posted by: kiss out the jams at March 1, 2007 10:11 AM

"DZ -- i dunno 'bout "most important" but one of the more important producers right now isn't so far off."

I like Timbaland as well but Timbaland isn't the world's most important musician by a long shot. I suprisingly enjoyed the last two Justin Timberlake albums despite my endless hatred of 'N Sync in high school.

Posted by: DocZeus at March 1, 2007 10:49 AM

great entry. the comparison between jon boy and storch is dead on...they make up the most questionable "type" of "wigs". His outfit is particularly weird in the picture that you use...basically, he just seems sort of insecure (its pretty hard to make a suit look awkward...but he does it)...and I'm assuming that..therefore, he doesn't really know how to present himself so he comes off as just an asshole...????????????

Posted by: mowneek at March 1, 2007 1:28 PM

Tom, if you have the time, archive the NYT feature on Storch from a few months back. I'm not all that familiar with the did he/didn't he debates on the studio work, but if there was ever any question that, even if this guy was a combo of Timbaland/Spector/Joe Meek/RZA genius, he'd still rate as one of the biggest douchebags you could ever hope to find then this fawning piece pretty much makes the nut. He strikes me as just another clowning white kid who's watched his special edition DVD of 'Scarface' waaaay too many goddam times. Shit is embarrasing.

Posted by: CharlieKane at March 1, 2007 2:38 PM

"I suprisingly enjoyed the last two Justin Timberlake albums despite my endless hatred of 'N Sync in high school."

same man. Tim and The Neptunes are basically the reason i checked both of 'em out, and started thinkin' hey, this is a lot better than i woulda thought.

Posted by: T.R.E.Y. at March 1, 2007 11:12 PM

Scorch's songs on the Paris Hilton album were good, though. He should pull a full Timbo and just do R&B/pop for a while.

Posted by: Eppy at March 2, 2007 4:23 PM

the video is the greatest moment in unintentional comedy ever:
http://www.discobelle.net/2007/03/03/its-scott-storch-you-dumbass-bitch-s-t-o-r-c-h/

Posted by: AZ at March 3, 2007 6:36 PM

I hate Scott Storch, but realistically he probably did write most of the music in the "river" backup track

but here's the thing- played note for note on a piano that riff isnt much better than "strip club" or any other mediocre storch track. what made the diff was the rhythm, the synth textures, timbo's beat boxing and timberlake's vocal melody.

the wikipedia dr.dre entry talks a lot about how dre uses session muscians and molds little riffs they play into his signature sound...my guess is timbaland does the same kind of thing.

Posted by: jeff stewart at March 4, 2007 1:54 AM

u can say what u want but errbody know scott storch is one of tha best producers. he learn from best, dr. dre.just look at the songz that were the #1, candy shop, run it, lord give me a sign, let me blow ya mind, lean back, let's ride.....timbaland aint a producer, hes just a figure, danja do all the work.its cool if ya dont like his showin ona videoz, but his beatz r the best.

Posted by: trshh! at August 12, 2007 8:06 AM

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