"Stroke Your Bible! Now Kiss Your Bible!"
Bible studies have never been this erotic!
Watch as evangelist Mike Murdock advises his crowd to get intimate with the good book.
"Hold your bible close to your heart," he starts, innocently enough--but that's just foreplay, I guess.
"Stroke your bible," he then urges, looking very into it.
"Now kiss your bible," he adds, a divine mission dripping from his tongue.
With all the stroking and kissing, Murdock suddenly seems to me like one of those guys in big hats that used to hang around Times Square. Nah! He's a man of God. A man with an obsession.
"Kiss it again," he unashamedly advises, helping the bible get more action than it's gotten in years.
"Now rub it across your face," he implores, encouraging some light frottage for the holy spirit.
Wait a minute! This is getting sick! And yet, the people not only do it, they look excited about it.
"I sleep with this work," adds the guy, interestingly revealing his choice of bedmate.
"Stroke it again!" he demands, hoping for an orgy.
OK, but...um...my bible is the same sex as me. Is it still OK to fondle it, sir?
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you'll never miss Village Voice's biggest stories.