The Best Valentine's Day Mixtape Ever

NOT SO MUCH TO BE LOVED

codepink.jpg Which means Code Red must involve some sort of assassin spider

Thanks, Mom

TMI, but my mother still sends me packages on Valentine's Day, even though we broke up several years ago. In addition to the Blue Mountain e-cards she seems to be drafting me every hour, I just got an email that says she has finished putting together an iTunes iMix Valentine's Day mixtape, with some new songs she thought I might like. I've copied/pasted her email below verbatim, with mom's personal notes on why she chose the songs she did. Apologies on her behalf for any grammatical/formatting errors; she's not technologically adept, but she means well.

Riff Raff Exclusive: Riff Raff's Mom's Valentine's Day Mixtape for Riff Raff

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HAPPY VALENTINES DAY MIX! BY MOM

BEYONCE FT SLIM THUG: CHECK ON IT !! YES! THIS IS WHAT I WANT TO DO, CHECK ON IT (YOU). HOW ARE YOU? YOU HAVE SO MUCH MAIL AT THE HOUSE

JAMES BLUNTS: YOURE BEAUTIFUL THIS SONG IS SO TRUE, WHEN I HEAR IT I THINK I HOPE YOU HEAR THIS AND HOPE YOU KNOW I AM THINKING ABOUT YOU WHEN I HEAR THIS. YOU ARE MY OLDEST SON I LOVE YOU SOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH

NELLY GRILLZ!!: GRILLZ THIS REMINDS ME OF SUMMER WHEN I WOULD COOK STUFF ON THE "GRILLZ" AND LISTEN TO THE RADIO HOPING THERE WOULD BE A SONG ABOUT HAVING SONS. IF YOU COME HOME I PROMISE I WILL CLEAN THE GRILL SO YOU DON'T GET SALAMANDER POISONING

ALL AMERICAN REJECTS: DIRTY LITTLE SUCRET I THINK YOU KNOW MY DIRTY LITTLE SEUCRET! [I LOVE YOU MORE THAN YOUR SISTERS]

NATASHA BEDDINGFELD: UNWRITTEN PLEASE COME HOME

CHRIS BROWN: RUN IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I KNOW YOU THINK THIS SONG IS MEAN BECAUSE OF WHEN I USED TO MAKE SURE YOU WEREN'T ALLOWED TO PLAY SOCCER FOR MORE THAN HALF THE GAME BECAUSE I WAS WORRIED ABOUT YOUR HEART MURMERS, BUT I HOPE YOU ARE 'RUNNING IT' IN THE WRITING SENSE (AND NOT SPORTS) PS DON'T JOIN YOUR FATHERS FANTASY LEAGUE

FALL OUT BOYS: DANCE DANCE DANCE!! (DONT DANCE TOO FAST NICK)

KELLY CLARKSONG: BECAUSE OF YOUBECAUSE OF YOU I AM A MOM! THIS SONG IS SO HONEST

NE-YO: SO SICK MAKE SURE YOU LISTEN TO THE LYRICS TO THIS SONG NICK, THEY ARE ABOUT SONGS! I LOVE SONGS

EMINEM: SHAKE THAT I KNOW YOU LIKE THAT PEEDI PEEDI SONG 'SHAKE' BUT SHAKE WHAT? I DO NOT LIKE UNCLEAR SONGS. THIS SONG IS MORE CLEAR, ALSO I WOULD MUCH RATHER YOU SHAKE SOMETHING, NOT YOURSELF. WHEN YOU ARE NOT HERE I SOMETIMES CALL THIS SONG 'SNAKE THAT'

BLACK EYE PEAS: PUMP IT LIKE A SOCCER BALL! PLEASE REMEMBER WHAT I TOLD YOU ABOUT SPORTS

T PAIN/MIKE JONES: I'M N LUV WITH STRIPPERS THI S IS A FUNNY SONG THAT YOUR SISTERS LIKE, I DO NOT LIKE IT BUT I HOPE YOU KNOW WHOEVER YOU BRING HOME IS FINE AS LONG AS SHES CATHOLIC

LOVE YOU! BY MOM

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