The Five Worst Sexual Techniques
These five boudoir activities are such hideous turnoffs they'll guarantee you end up a spinster going blind.
In ascending order of awfulness, they are:
Ouch! You may be a dog, but sorry, I'm not a doggie toy!
(4) Pleasuring yourself, then just rolling over or leaving
How narcissistic and rude! That's like something I would do!
(3) Insisting on your sexual scenario and no one else's
After I pretend to be a Boy Scout for 10 minutes, don't you owe it to me to play Cowboy and Alien for a while?
(2) Acting like it's your first time and it really hurts
Oh, please, honey! Save it for acting class!
And the worst of all:
(1) Texting all the details to your friends in the middle of it
Humiliating! At least take it to the bathroom!
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