The 'Grand Theft Auto' of Porn!

If instead of letting you carjack and fire on innocents at will Grand Theft Auto allowed you to wait in line for go-karts and hit the shooting range, would you still play it? Probably, since you're happy to vend trinkets and, y'know, walk around in World of Warcraft. But forget that, I'm making a point. What's the purpose of a video like Gangland #49 (Devil's Film) when the three men you watch double-penetrate one woman at a time are doing it in some spacious L.A. pad and aren't even throwing gang signs? Three's company, not a gang, for one, and that the men are black and the women white in no way convinces me that said men are Crips, Bloods, or (least of all) Latin Kings. The artwork shows the men pulling at Nicki Hunter (pic) in front of a brick wall, plus a little person wearing a bandanna in the style of Juelz Santana--all very “urban” (not to be confused with urbane, which is what white people are). (The Bushwick Bill-echoing little person does not actually appear in the movie, by the way, unless it's during Hunter's scene, which I skipped because she has fake ones.) But according to the more-corrupt-than-porn record industry, John Legend is urban. Likewise, Gangland #49 most certainly does not keep it real.

Of course, snore, that's a good thing. Other gang-themed flicks have been more offensively real, skirting the obvious racist rape scenario. But I'm not ready to dismiss the genre. Imagine this: A Masonic ritual--an urbane gang activity, if you will--is taking place in the back room of the local wood-paneled Rotary club. A horny Mason wife is brought out; paunchy men bring her to climax over and over; President Bush snorts a line off her distended anus. Think Eyes Wide Shut, just not starring a gay guy. Point is, men make all variety of excuses to hang out, drink beer, and drive by people's homes firing automatic weapons. The possibilities for M's on F are endless, all fraught with their own peculiar power dynamics, ceremony, and incidental cock contact. This movie gets a couple obvious things right: the two scene's beside Nicki's star Trista “I Can't Help It I'm a Nasty Bitch” Post (pic), a statuesque whitie who looks like she might have an inheritance coming to her, and Chiquita Lopez (pic), a small, pert Latina with a bilingual potty (not to mention pouty) mouth. (Nicki's role is that of the porn star; she rounds out the spectrum ranging from she-deserves-it to she-wants-it.) The most creative thing about Trista's scene is the denouement, where the three let off in her crack, directly into her pussy, and then in her mouth as if they're sealing off drafts. Chiquita's riveting all the way through, whining her pleasure and nobly standing up to what must nearly be a combined 30 inches, plus one girth likely equal to an average length. (Call him Peter Legend.) Still, I've seen episodes of Family Guy that are edgier. Why should the Hell's Angels show up Devil's Film?

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