The Hookie Awards Brought Together the Urination

The Hookie Awards Brought Together the Urination's Hookie Awards at Roseland celebrated the male equivalent of the people Charlie Sheen likes to call friend -- though these hookers don't tend to lock themselves in the bathroom and call the cops.

They chain you to the bedroom and call out for more lube!

And it turns out they can be very water-sporty, too.

At the Friday-night awards event, the room was filled with all sorts of people with PayPal accounts.

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I presented Best Porn Star Escort and stood there dumbfounded as the winner simply said, "Thank you," and scooted.

(Well, you don't pay these people to talk!)

Another weird high point had one of the winners asking the crowd for a moment of silence for Japan (which I'm sure was thrilled that a roomful of fetish bottoms and their clients was praying for them. And they should be!)

But the real highlight happened in the pre-show festivities, when porn director Mr. Pam found an audience member who liked to drink pee and promptly brought the guy onstage to go for the gold.

Up there, escort Rafael Alencar (photo above) gamely wee-weed into the guy's mouth, providing a copious open bar that he slurped down as the normally jaded crowd looked a tiny bit shocked.

Oscars, take note.

(Photo: Thomas Mixdorf)

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