The Most Annoying Expression Of All Time
No, it's not the expression on my face whenever a Broadway show closes.
It's the above expression, "Have a good one"!
Blech. I just vomited in my pants.
The phrase long ago replaced "Have a nice day" as the most uttered four words in christendom (except for "Pound me, harder, harder!"), but this one is way more coy.
I mean, saying "one" instead of "day" doesn't fool me for a second that it's "day" they really mean!
Just say "day"!
And I've always felt there's something self-defeating and, you know, reductive about breaking your life down into 24-hour units just because that's what the calendar says.
Shouldn't you aim for a whole life of good stuff?
Shouldn't people say, "Have a good life?"
And what good is someone wishing you a good anything?
It's superstitious and pointless and a futile usage of energy.
Tell me something more useful, like "Don't step on the third rail" or "If a squirrel lingers near you, they might be rabid."
Besides, this kind of joviality seems a little fake in tell-it-like-it-is New York.
Phrases like "Have a good one" should be relegated only to chain restaurants in suburbs (not chain restaurants in big cities.)
Believe me, I know that whoever says it means well, but they have no idea what constitutes a good one for me, so they should really can it.
Next time I'll answer:
"Gosh, I hope I do!
"Maybe I'll find some alcoholic has-been celebrity to interview and then a hot wax S&M party and then a ride home courtesy of a cab driver who only wants a hand job.
"Y'all have a good one too!"
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