The Most Clever Sayings In History, Part One

One of mine is courtesy of the great auteur Woody Allen:

"Comedy is tragedy, plus time," he had one of his Crimes and Misdemeanors characters spout in an inspired moment.

In other words, you may have stubbed your toe and been in absolute agony last week, but by now it's become a hilarious story you can tell your friends over cocktails.

Actually, seeing as I had to explain that one, maybe it wasn't so profound after all.

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I'll go with two other Woody-isms:

"I'd never join a club that would allow a person like me to become a member."

And his referring to masturbation as "sex with someone I love."

You got any better sayings?

Help me out with some pith. (Not necessarily from Woody. Just from someone -- or even just from an embroidered pillow.)

Make it brilliant -- and self-explanatory!

Hopefully by time you do, the tragedy of this post will seem more amusing.

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