The 'Sopranos' of Porn!

Two nights ago I skimmed Gumadas (DNA) in search of something wankable. I eventually found it--Cherry Lane (pic) on Corina Taylor (pic); girls kissing can be so refreshing--but nothing in the video moved me in quite the same way as, say, that new Bubba Sparxxx song with the chorus that goes, “Bootybootybootybooty rock it everywhere!” And let's face it, that song kinda sucks. Gumada, as you may know, is Italian (slang?) for a woman on the side--you take her out on Friday and the wife on Saturday (or is it the other way around? I've got to check my Treo). Nice concept. Except that, besides some blatant copyright infringement of the Godfather theme, the movie follows through on the idea not at all. The one lascivious look Ray Liotta shoots Debbie Mazar in the bedroom of his then-gumada's apartment in Goodfellas is hotter than everything in this movie put together. In fact, it's a wonder Liotta's not doing porn these days.

With all due respect to the ladies--Gabriella Banks (pic); Lauren Phoenix (pic); Aimee; Loni (pic)--Gumadas rates with the Sopranos if you've only seen the crappy second episode of this season. Maybe it's supposed to be some gumada's dream sequence, I don't know. In any case, I'm repeating myself (just ate some gabagool). It may be that the feminist sci-fi book I finished last night--Wild Seed, by the great (and late) Octavia E. Butler--spoiled me with its climactic othercourse scene, which happens between two immortals, the only such kind they know of on earth.

She did not know what he did or what she did but it was startlingly good. It was a blending that went on and on, a joining that it seemed to Anyanwu she controlled. Not until she rested, pleasantly weary, did she begin to realize that she was losing herself . . . They joining they had enjoyed was not enough for him. He was absorbing her, consuming her, making her part of his own substance. He was the great light, the fire that had englobed her. Now he was killing her little by little, digesting her little by little.

That's hot! And Wild Seed would be an excellent name for a porno. The focus could be on englobing, rather than the skeet-skeet-skeet, and . . . well, now I'm just fantasizing, and I don't think you wanna go down that road with me. Unless, Ms. Mazar, you're reading this . . .


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