The World's Strongest Vagina

I'm going to pause right here for you to insert all kinds of unseemly jokes because I know you're just dying to. Got it? Let 'em out? Done? Good, then let me tell you with a straight face (well, with major gayface, actually) about the Russian gymnast who has earned got the incredible above-described honor.

The woman can lift a 30-pound kettleball with her privates. What's more, she can so 13-pound dumbbells using only her vaginal muscles. She can lift more with her hoo-ha than I can with my arms. Way more!

Those muscles--which became weak after she had a child--ended up developing record-breaking strength when she worked them out with various glass balls and other objects. She shoved a veritable furniture showroom worth of stuff up there and now she's the Schwarzenegger of the vagina scene (if that isn't redundant).

Very impressive--but please don't try this without supervision (or at all). I'd advise you to just keep on inserting jokes rather than objects.

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