Tom and Katie Blah Blah Blah: Here Are My Latest Ravings
I appeared on the Fox 5 news last night to give my blatherings on the latest round of TomKat gossip, providing the following illustrious quotes:
*"Katie knew this was a Scientology marriage. Of course she may have found it more oppressive than it sounded on paper. So I'm not surprised she's gone back to Catholicism. I think her mother will be very happy!"
*"It's been seven years since Tom started the couch jumping excitement. So it's either a seven-year itch or a seven-year arrangement. Or [looking faux-beatific] it's simply true love that went awry!"
I also told them:
*"Many people in unhappy arrangements use secret or disposable cell phones. I'm surprised Tom didn't pick through her trash to find it!"
*As for the gossip report that Katie called Nicole Kidman for advice:
"I'm sure they've both signed so many nondisclosure forms that when Nicole picked up the phone, she could only say the same thing Katie's been saying over and over: 'No comment'."
*And finally, I noted that Katie went from being the poster child for signing into some off kilter arrangement to being the poster child for female independence.
I love show biz!
Get the ICYMI: Today's Top Stories Newsletter Our daily newsletter delivers quick clicks to keep you in the know
Catch up on the day's news and stay informed with our daily digest of the most popular news, music, food and arts stories in New York, delivered to your inbox.