Tom and Katie Blah Blah Blah: Here Are My Latest Ravings

I appeared on the Fox 5 news last night to give my blatherings on the latest round of TomKat gossip, providing the following illustrious quotes:

*"Katie knew this was a Scientology marriage. Of course she may have found it more oppressive than it sounded on paper. So I'm not surprised she's gone back to Catholicism. I think her mother will be very happy!"

*"It's been seven years since Tom started the couch jumping excitement. So it's either a seven-year itch or a seven-year arrangement. Or [looking faux-beatific] it's simply true love that went awry!"

I also told them:

*"Many people in unhappy arrangements use secret or disposable cell phones. I'm surprised Tom didn't pick through her trash to find it!"

*As for the gossip report that Katie called Nicole Kidman for advice:

"I'm sure they've both signed so many nondisclosure forms that when Nicole picked up the phone, she could only say the same thing Katie's been saying over and over: 'No comment'."

*And finally, I noted that Katie went from being the poster child for signing into some off kilter arrangement to being the poster child for female independence.

I love show biz!


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