What Prompted Jodie Foster's Lesbo Breakup? Come Guess With Me

What Prompted Jodie Foster's Lesbo Breakup? Come Guess With Me

If it's true, as wags have reported, that Jodie Foster and longtime girlfriend Cydney Bernard have parted gay ways while ceasing to part each other's curtains, I've boiled the upshot down into three possible sapphic scenarios.

Worst Case: After Jodie thanked "my beautiful Cydney" at a luncheon last year, her handlers freaked and told her to shut the fuck up about her diesely dykedom—and in fact to give the girlfriend (and co-parent of their kids) the dykey dump. Jodie, a real class act, proceeded to do so.

Best Case: After Jodie thanked "my beautful Cydney" at a luncheon last year, she seemed to be edging towards acknowledging her partner in public rather than keeping her in a dank closet. But of course that never happened. Jodie went on to backtrack by publicly making Cydney invisible, giving emphatic interviews about how she's never been in love. As a result, Cydney—tired of subjugating her entire identity for this impossible situation—bolted for the dykey door in frustration and BECAME invisible.

Or Maybe: Cydney was already starting to stray when Jodie made that remark. The comment was Jodie's desperate pat on Cydney's back, a brazen attempt to flatter her into staying put. Like Nim's Island, it just didn't work.

Any other guesses?

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