What's With All The Airplane Loonies?
I used to only worry about simple things like turbulence, engine failure, terrorism, a bird flying into the engine, or the plane dropping 30,000 feet.
But nowadays you gotta worry about the crew!
They're all loonies!
It started with that male flight attendant a couple of years ago who grabbed beers and slid down the chute, abandoning the plane after hectoring some passengers, later claiming they were the loons.
More recently came that female flight attendant who started screaming that they were going to crash and had to be escorted off and hopefully fed some meds.
And now comes the JetBlue pilot who went bonkers and started disrupting things and carrying on about a bomb, only to be locked out of the cockpit and restrained by passengers so he wouldn't cause any further harm.
Like opening the plane door!
I'm actually not that surprised by all of this.
I would think that if you're the kind of person who absolutely loves to fly, you're a little nuts to begin with.
And even if you aren't, flying day after day through all kinds of pressure-filled, uncomfortable, claustrophobic flights could very well make you that way.
That's why I only do it every few years.
And I sincerely hope that next time I'm aboard, I don't see any of those three famous crew members working the flight!
I love spotting celebrities, but still!
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you’ll never miss Village Voice's biggest stories.