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What's Your Favorite Kind of Gay?

As we face a new year and a clean slate, how do we rank the types of gays that make up the rainbow palette in our wondrous nation? Your choices are as follows:

*Bears. You know, guys who don't shave or work out, but get way more action than those that do.

*Twinks. Cuties with high cheekbones, wiry bodies, and high-pitched voices. They love Britney and aren't ashamed to admit it in public.

*Muscle queens. A diminishing breed, they generally are so busy in the gym steamroom they forget to even work out.

*Leather queens. There are only three of these guys left, but that makes them even more tenaciously sadistic.

*Preppies. Argyle is their favorite color.

My personal favorites are the twinks--they're just so fucking adorable--and everyone else can just go to gay hell. You?


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