Who I'm Most Often Mistaken For
(1) Al Franken. Once, a guy chased me down the street swearing I was Al and pantingly demanding an autograph! I demurred, but the sweaty maniac insisted, screeching "When I called into your radio show, I couldn't get on and now this! You suck!" He truly looked like he was going to kill me for breakfast, so I had to sign "Al Franken" very quickly and run for my life. I am a forger! And what's worse, when I finally met Franken, it turned out he came up to my kneecaps!
(2) "The guy from NY1." That one really hurts.
(3) Isaac Mizrahi. Once, someone flattered me with "You are such a fashion icon!" and I ate it up like jellybeans. But when the person then remarked about how great I am on the Target commercial, I knew they actually thought I was Isaac. It's not all that upsetting--he's good looking and successful and besides, he's very me! I can just see myself with large swatches of fabric and a cabaret show and my own magazine.
(4) The guy from American Pie. I used to willfully lie to myself and interpret this to mean Jason Biggs, but I know people really mean the father! Oy!!! Thanks a lot, mofos!!!
(5) Michael Musto. Yes, occasionally people do mistake me for myself--and it feels so fucking good!
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