Win one for the gyppers: Banks' current playoffs eerily like the NFL's
New York's still the champ, Carolina is shaken but remains a strong contender, Pittsburgh's a major player, Cleveland's a major disappointment, and Detroit doesn't even exist — that's not the National Football League we're talking about but the U.S. banking industry standings.
As the country plunges toward the New Depression, there are parallels between the NFL teams' fight for playoff survival and the banks' fight for just plain survival.
Well, not just "plain" survival. The current shakeout and consolidation of the banking industry will leave fewer banks standing, but those that survive these playoffs are sure to get payoffs of billions in bailout money from taxpayers.
Let's get right to the playoff race. Check out the this morning's Wall Street Journal story "Two Cities Lose 'Hometown' Banks: Votes in Cleveland, Charlotte Are Signs of Industry Change." Under that mundane headline, reporter Dan Fitzpatrick makes like NBC football anchor Dan Patrick. This restructuring of the banking industry seems almost exciting in the reporter's play-by-play:
Boston, incidentally, is the country's fifth-largest banking center, which is about where the New England Patriots are in the NFL playoff mix.
Not that the two wealthy industries are exactly parallel. San Francisco is a major banking capital, for instance.
One major difference: The football teams, even the lousy ones, have fans.
Meanwhile, of course, both industries depend heavily on public subsidies while remaining insufferably arrogant.
Hard to believe, but the bankers are even greedier than the team owners. The banks that have already gotten bailouts provide proof. See 'IT'S OUR BILLION$, BANKERS' in this morning's New York Post:
Don't ask questions. Just gimme the money. That's what a bank robbery is.
Click on this stuff:
NO PARTICULAR ORDER:
Doctors Without Borders: 'Top Ten Humanitarian Crises Reveal Growing Insecurity, Neglected Health Needs'
Washington Post: 'All Clintons, All the Time'
Washington Post: 'Deeper Cuts, Widespread Pain'
Wall Street Journal: 'In Hard Times, Houses of God Turn to Chapter 11 in Book of Bankruptcy'
Washington Post: 'More than 100 million Americans breathe sooty air'
N.Y. Post: 'LILLO BEATS COP-MURDER RAP'
N.Y. Post: 'BIZ CARD MADE HIRAM A "SLASHER"'
N.Y. Daily News: 'A last good-bye: Notable deaths of 2008'
McClatchy: 'Hospital jobs offer bright spot in economy'
Wall Street Journal: 'U.S. to Fund Afghan Militias, Applying Iraq Tactic'
N.Y. Post: 'MORE FAMILIES IN CITY SHELTERS'
N.Y. Post: 'IT'S OUR BILLION$, BANKERS'
N.Y. Times: 'Betrayed by Madoff, Yeshiva U. Adds a Lesson'
Wall Street Journal: 'Probe Eyes Audit Files, Role of Aide To Madoff'
N.Y. Times: 'Clinton Moves to Widen Role of State Dept.'
Wall Street Journal: 'A Not-So-Jolly Season for eBay'
Get the ICYMI: Today's Top Stories Newsletter Our daily newsletter delivers quick clicks to keep you in the know
Catch up on the day's news and stay informed with our daily digest of the most popular news, music, food and arts stories in New York, delivered to your inbox.