Worst Parties Of All Time: Club Kid Outlaw Bash

Worst Parties Of All Time: Club Kid Outlaw Bash

Here's another installation in my six-part series of NYC's Best and Worst Parties I've Ever Been To:

THE WORST:

*A 1991 club kid outlaw party

"Outlaw parties" were the bashes illegally held at some public space or other, where everyone showed up on time for a change, knowing the cops would come and bust it up the second they got wind of it.

For this one--in honor of a club DJ's birthday--we'd been told to meet at a West Side parking lot, though that turned out to be just a holding area. From there, we were sent to abandoned elevated train tracks a few blocks away, where the weeds, decay, and rickety structure were as terrifying as the club kids begging to get photographed in it.

I was actually relieved when the police came and I could return to the relative safety of a plain old sleazy nightclub.

And yet, these things were always kind of thrilling and special, I must admit. The one at a McDonalds will be forever seared into the memory. It was the rare worthwhile trip to a fast food joint, and it really shook things up there!

Truth be told, though, the club kids ripped off the outlaw idea from promoter Vito Bruno, who pulled off some amazing spectacles in the '80s, including a bash on a sanitation pier, where me and my bandmates sang "Happy Birthday" to Details's editor Annie Flanders while we walked off because the cops were shooing us home.

And here's another WORST:

*Premiere party for The Savages, 2007, in the Altman Building

I love a party for a movie I actually enjoyed because I know I'll be brimming with positive questions for the talent involved and I won't have to fake the enthusiasm. Besides, I'd interviewed the film's stars, Laura Linney and Philip Seymour Hoffman, before, and knew they were perfectly delightful specimens with lots of good quotes. So I was stunned to walk into the small-scale event and be told, "No interviews with Laura or Phil!"

This unexplained bit of bizarreness was Tom Cruise all over again, only taller--and there was no one else worth talking to there either! And no great food!

An even more horrifying nightmare was the 1998 party for the icky movie Playing By Heart, which I trudged through a blizzard to get to, along with literally only 20 other people! And I was promptly told, "Sean Connery won't talk to you!" And I didn't event want him!

Since then, whenever something like that happens, I figure, "Well, at least it'll make for a good item." But a terrible party! I wish the cops had come and busted them.


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