It Doesn’t Suck!

Friday, July 11, 2008 monarch butterfly biosphere reserve MY FAVORITE SIMPSONS EPISODES By Cédric Van der Hauwaert I worship at the altar of yellow-skinned Springfieldians the Simpsons: they espouse the right kind of morals (seasons 1-7) - not a term I like using though - and the show always had the right zest of Hollywood liberalism (seasons 8-19, would that have anything to do with the fact creator Matt Groening is now filthily rich and living in Malibu?). South Park scores low in comparison, all too often degenerating into outright vulgarity and espousing redneck Republican leanings (Trey Parker and Matt Stone hate LA although they do live there). I really love the episodes that focus on feminist geek Lisa and lovable mom Marge (not surprisingly, since a BBC science test told me I have female brains). 1. Lisa Vs. Malibu Stacey (Season 5) Lisa is outraged at the sexist blathering of her new talking doll Malibu Stacey who offers no more insight to young girls than "I wish they taught us shopping in school"l or" Let's buy make-up so the boys will like us". When Lisa tries to explain the doll's flagrant sexism to Bart she yells: "It's not funny Bart, millions of girls will grow up thinking this is the right way to act, that they can never be anything more than vacuous ninnies whose only goal is to look pretty, land a rich husband, and spend all day on the phone with their equally vacuous friends talking about how damn terrific it is to look pretty and have a rich husband!" She heads for the lush mansion of its original creator Stacey Laverne (voiced by Kathleen Turner) – now an embittered alcoholic who's been married 5 times – and together they decide to create a new doll called Lisa Lionheart. Mr. Burns' assistant Smithers turns out to be the largest Malibu Stacey collector in the world hosting the StaceyCon Event in San Diego. Did you notice the Kidstown toy store's doll section is called "Valley of the Dolls" in reference to the novel-turned-movie starring Sharon Tate (Garland dropped out after a couple of weeks shooting due to creative differences) – a sordid soap opera style flick on Hollywood starlets hooked on booze and dope? 2. Lisa The Beauty Queen (Season 4) Lisa gets sad after having a cartoonist make a drawing of her at a local carnival that makes her feel ugly. Naïve but good-intentioned Homer enrols her in a beauty pageant. Lisa's initially outraged but eventually decides to enter the competition which features teen beauties such as Amber Dempsey who has eyelash implants which are only legal in Paraguay. She doesn't win the contest but after aforementioned winner Amber Dempsey gets struck by lightning, she gets to take her place. Upon discovering her beauty queen status is used to promote Laramie Cigarettes during a parade, Lisa throws an impressive temper tantrum after seeing free packs of cigarettes handed out to children, proudly proclaiming "I'm tired of being a corporate shill" and kicking over a huge cardboard pack of Laramies on the parade float 3. Mr. Lisa Goes To Washington (Season 3) Lisa wins an essay contest in which school children are demanded to extol the virtues of their nation. The family gets to go to DC for the final show-down between contestants from all states. Meanwhile, drifting around Washington for inspiration, she finds herself eavesdropping on a conversation between two Congressmen, finding out about their corrupt scheme which involves bribery, to do away with a Springfield National Park area for the purpose of industrial expansion. Lisa is so disillusioned with her country she starts to cry and distances herself of her old patriotic essay to write "Cesspool on the Potomac". 4. Itchy and Scratchy and Marge (Season 2) Marge becomes a moral crusader a la Tipper Gore against excessive cartoon violence after Maggie smashes in Homer's skull with a mallet, violent behavior that Marge attributes to the nefarious influence of Bart and Lisa's favorite daytime cartoon Itchy and Scratchy - an even more outrageously bloody take on Tom and Jerry that is part of the Krusty The Klown Show. Marge becomes an iconic model to holier-than-thou Helen Lovejoy, Maude Flanders and their pop culture inquisition. The reverend's wife again reaches out to Marge to protest against the exhibition of Michelangelo's David at the Springfield Museum of Modern Art saying: "It's filth! It graphically portrays parts of the human body, which, practical as they may be, are evil". However, Marge doesn't understand Helen's moral outcry, she thinks the statue is a prime example of transcendent, classical art. Subsequently, Helen expresses her dissatisfaction with Marge's reaction to her girlfriends: "I told you she was soft on full frontal nudity!" As a result, Marge gets ditched by these moralistic censorship-advocating troopers. Finally, Marge acknowledges to TV psychiatrist Marvin Monroe that maybe censoring cartoons isn't the best way to go either, although she still vehemently professes her disgust of Itchy and Scratchy. 5. Lisa The Vegetarian (Season 7) After visiting an amusement park petting zoo, Lisa starts questioning her eating meat and decides to become a vegetarian. When Homer invites the whole Springfield Terrace neighborhood for a huge barbecue, Lisa tries to convince guests not to eat meat; she offers them meat-free gazpacho as an alternative. When nobody empathizes with her vegetarist message, she ruins Homer's meatfest by boarding a riding mower, and heads off with the roast pig in tow. She pushes the pig off a slope, making it roll through bushes, into the river, and launched into mid-air by a hydroelectic dam's suction power. However, when she learns Apu is a vegan who disapproves of vegetarianism but has learned to be tolerant towards other people's views, Lisa understands she needs to reconcile with her meat-loving father.