Bad Things Come in Sevens: Mark Mahon's Strength and Honour
Proving that old adage that bad things come in sevens, Mark Mahons schlocky Strength and Honour opens as Irish boxing phenom Sean Kelleher (Michael Madsen) accidentally pounds his friend to death in the ring. (Thats one.) Flash forward to a drab hospital room where Seans wife, weak and pallid, makes her dying wish: Never box again. Then she dies. (Thats two.) Flash forward to the dinner table, where Seans young son pukes all over his plate. (Thats three.) Not since Kate Winslets Cough Heard Round the World in Finding Neverland has terminal illness been so subtly foreshadowed. The prognosis? Twelve to 18 months. But, wait! Theres an experimental procedure! Its only available in L.A., and wont likely be approved by the FDA for, er, 12 to 18 months, but if Sean can pay $250K out of pocket, hes golden. (Four, five, and six: Insurance refuses to cover the dead wifes hospital bills, the bank reposes Seans house to the tune of some awful song, I Want to Run with the Wild Horses, and dad and son move into a motor home enclave, where bare knuckle boxing is the new riding bikes.) Point is: Sean has to box again. Zip-up hoodie worn just so, Sean goes back to the old gym and trains for the big fight: a gloves-free free-for-all with a mega payout. More things happen, until inevitably Sean makes it to the final, duking it out with reigning champ Smasher (Vinnie Jones, scary) against the backdrop of an Irish Spring commercial. (Forgot to mention: Smasher beats Seans best friend paralyzed in the semi-finals. Thats seven.)
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