To a generation, Brian Austin Green will forever be associated with David Silver, the sensitive dweeb of Beverly Hills 90210. Four years since the show's cancellation, He of the Magnificent Jawline has yet to put his name to anything half as memorable, and his feature directorial debut, Fish Without a Bicycle, won't change that. This DV rom-com follows the emotional ups and downs of twentysomething actress Julianna (Jenna Mattison) as she navigates the L.A. dating scene. Strong performances are marred by a script whose dialogue ranges from cheesy ("I'm just trying to figure this out, this life thing") to unspeakably bad ("When I got home, there was your message, blinking at me like a beacon in the night"). With her big-mouthed laugh and long, frizzy red hair, Mattison's resemblance to a certain mega-celebrity provides some much needed distraction at first, but is ultimately too creepy for comfort.
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