Loosies has a bevy of colorful character actors—from Michael Madsen and William Forsythe to Vincent Gallo and Joe Pantoliano—but little character. The story of a pickpocket named Bobby (Peter Facinelli) whose criminal career is complicated by the reappearance of former flame Lucy (Jaimie Alexander), now pregnant with his kid, Michael Corrente's film is a mush of poses. The director's saga revels in cornball romance, imitation tough-guy attitude, and awkward flashbacks, none more ridiculous than one in which Bobby twirls a beaming Lucy around like a ballerina before screwing her. Bobby is a hood with a heart of gold, having been forced to assume his profession to atone for his father's sins, and as such, his dueling predicaments—regarding Lucy's pregnancy/abortion and a stolen police badge that has him in hot water—feature a predictable lack of tension. If there's any verve in this rote good-guy-makes-good tale, however, it comes courtesy of Gallo, who provides some gnarly craziness as a crook prone to practicing karate while decked out in only a ratty bathrobe.
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