Love in the Time of Cholera
Easily the worst adaptation of a major novel by a Nobel Prizewinning author. Easily. Director Mike Newell and writer Ronald Harwood have rendered Gabriel García Márquez's novel little more than a sudsy telenovelaLifetime by way of Telemundo. Not that the material didn't teeter and totter in that direction to begin with: The story of Florentino Ariza's 50-year crush on Fermina Daza was always little more than a variation on Romeo and Juliet, only tinged with the flowery scent of magical realism. But there ain't a damned thing realmagical or otherwiseabout this abomination, which stars a wasted Javier Bardem as Florentino and Giovanna Mezzogiorno as Fermina, who ditches Florentino for a doctor (Benjamin Bratt, who's always been a little made-for-TV anyway). From the hoot-worthy dialogue ("I don't need a medical lesson." "No, this is going to be a lesson in love") to the atrocious makeup, to the dead rats taped to the side of Hector Elizondo's head, the entire thing's a wreck. Unless it was trolling for sneering chuckles, in which casesuccess!
Get the Film Club Newsletter
Stay up to date on the best new movies with our critics' latest reviews, interviews and trailers for the films coming to a theater near you each week.