The Condemned: As Tame as "Horror" Gets
Writer-director Roberto Busó-Garcia's Spanish-language movie is so tame and so completely boring that to advertise it a horror film is to insult the genre. Determined to restore the reputation of her father, a cancer researcher plagued by rumors of weirdness in his early research techniques, Ana (Christina Rodlo) moves the old man, who's literally on his deathbed, back to the tiny Puerto Rican town where he opened his first clinic . . . and where he met her mother, who eventually committed suicide. To build a museum extolling her father's genius, Ana will need the help of the townspeople, all of whom practically spit in her face when she throws a party in the family mansion. The locals despise the old man, and fear the mansion. Is the house haunted by the spirit of Ana's mother, and if so, what is she trying to tell Ava when she makes the walls shake and the kitchen faucet turn on by itself? Here's a more profound question: Who cares? The dark secret behind Papa's research, when it's finally revealed, isn't the least bit surprising, much less scary. Put Daddy in a home, Ana, and go find yourself a handsome dinner date. You (and we, your fellow condemned) deserve it.
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