The Highly Unnecessary Sister: Sorority Row
The first credit to roll for Sorority Row, director Stewart Hendlers highly unnecessary remake of a 1983 slasher, is for a character known as bra-clad sister. A few entries down are slutty sister, ditzy sister, and sarcastic sister. Im not sure you need to know much more than that, but here goes anyway: Somewhere among these luminaries is a group of sorority seniors whose idea of a revenge prank is convincing a young man that he has killed his girlfriend with an ill-timed roofie. The vaguely sensible one among them (played by Briana Evigan, whose resemblance to Demi Moore puts her co-starand Moores actual offspringRumer Willis to a strange sort of shame) protests the groups plan to cover up the death of their fellow sister when the prank tanks, and takes the lead when a graduation gown-wearing maniac begins killing off everyone associated with the death. A very thin feminist subtext about the meaning of sisterhood only highlights how badly this film botches its attempt to have it both ways: naked, bleeding cuties combined with final girl-ish, butt-whipping empowerment. Call me the sarcastic sister, but the only thing screaming in any convincing way here are the cheap look, epileptic direction, and off-key, edgy humor. Its all so 80s I could die.
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