'Uncut: Member Only'
Once the most bashful leading man in cinemanotorious for his absence, some would say, throughout years of copious beaver shotsthe penis is ready for his close-up in Uncut: Member Only, a feature-length, Guinness-certified stunt whose title anticipates every dick joke a reviewer can thrust at it. Writer-director Gionata Zarantonello invites this level of discourse by propping Franco Trentalance (as a Lothario bed-bound by a cracked pelvis) spread-eagled before a fixed camera for 76 minutes with his package filling the frame. With the camera literally cutting the actor off at the ballsall dialogue, or monologue, takes place offscreen above the waistthe movie attempts to demystify the dong through sheer ubiquity: Stare at it long enough, and even the mighty male scepter becomes a meaningless meat puppet. (Think of this as the pink counterpart to Derek Jarman's Blue.) But the movie's ultimately less interested in subversion than in sophomoric gimmickry, and Zarantonello exhausts the entertainment value of his still-life-with-schlong long before he busts out the chainsaw and the likeness of Bill Clinton. In the end, the phallus is mostly a prop to be fiddled with or jiggled, which gives Uncut its reverse Freudian punchline sometimes a cock is just a cigar.
Get the Film & TV Newsletter
Stay up to date on the best new movies with our critics' latest reviews, interviews and trailers for the films coming to a theater near you each week.
More Film News
- Scott Adkins Plays a Badass Actually Named ‘Colt McReady’ In the Effective ‘Close Range’
- Meet the Pole Who Tried to Warn the World About the Holocaust in ‘Karski & the Lords...
- Jane Fonda Faced Down the Seventies and a Killer in Pakula’s Masterful ‘Klute’
- He’ll Get Your Head Shaking: Surveying the Start of Chung Mong-hong’s (Likely) Great...