The Hawaiian Tropic Zone opened with a few golden plugs: Nicole Miller bikinis and sarongs on the girls, and pupu platters by David Burke. A photo of the jovial Burke happily nestled between two busty bikini girls, a/k/a Girls of the Zone, even appears on the joint's homepage, accompanied by the phrase "the hottest place on earth." (Could it be? Burke does look ... quite warm.) There is also a well-promoted catwalk that stretches across the length of the restaurant and bar, where patrons are entertained by twice-nightly beauty pageants featuring the "Girls." Alas, don't be surprised to find that the "pageant" consists of "Girls" (who didn't much resemble the website photos) sailing across the runway in the world's quickest bikini fly-by, while you disconsolately sip syrupy pomegranate margaritas ($12) and squeeze into a space at the bar between Beefy Guy No. 34 and Man Who Never Met a Hair Shellac He Didn't Like. The video screens behind the catwalk, post-pageant, then taunt with images of the real deal: Hawaiian volcanoes descending into the cool surf! Hawaiian Tropic models laughing and running toward the camera in unison! Eight of them needed to push one single canoe!